It was strange. The only English words I saw were Sony and Mitsubishi. –Bill Gullickson, MLB pitcher, on playing in Japan

I called the doctor, and he said the contraptions were an hour apart. –Mackey Sasser, Mets catcher, on his pregnant wife’s labor

O.K., now everyone inhale…and dehale. –Maury Wills, Dodgers shortstop, leading the team through exercises

Make sure you put on a bunch of those neutrons. –Mike Smith, Reds pitcher, to a waitress when ordering a salad

We’re a team of destination. –Charlie Kerfeld, Astros pitcher

I will perish this trophy forever. –Johnny Logan, Milwaukee Braves shortstop

I know the name, but I can’t replace the face. –Johnny Logan

Even Napoleon had his Watergate. –Danny Ozark, Phillies manager

I’ve seen the future, and it is much like the present, only longer. –Dan Quisenberry, Royals relief pitcher

I’m looking forward to putting on my glasses with the fake nose so I can walk around and be a normal person. –Dan Quisenberry, after the 1980 World Series

What’s the matter with you? Other pitchers win their games 9-3, 10-2. You win yours 2-1, 1-0. Why don’t you win your games like the others? –Jacob Ruppert, Yankees owner, to pitcher Waite Hoyt

I made some dumb pitches when I had to. –Dave LaPoint, Pirates pitcher

Thirty-two pounds per square inch at sea level. –Bill Lee, when asked how much pressure he feels on the mound

I don’t get upset over things I can control, because if I can control them there’s no sense in getting upset. And I don’t get upset over things I can’t control, because if I can’t control them there’s no sense in getting upset. –Mickey Rivers, Yankees center fielder

We’ll do all right if we can capitalize on our mistakes. –Mickey Rivers

My goals are to hit .300, score 100 runs and stay injury prone. –Mickey Rivers

I threw about 90% fastballs and sliders- 50% fastballs and 50% sliders. Hey, wait- I’m starting to sound like Mickey Rivers. –John Butcher, Rangers pitcher

Baseball is both the greatest and worst thing that ever happened to me. Not because people asked too much of me, but because I asked too much of myself. As it turned out, my talent was a curse. The curse was the way I handled it and didn’t handle it. –Sam McDowell, Pirates pitcher, on his retirement

There’s no tomorrow if we don’t win tomorrow. –Tony Gwynn, after the Padres lost the first two games of the 1984 National League Championship Series

Hey Pedro, how do you say “adios” in Spanish? –Clay Carroll, Reds pitcher, to teammate Pedro Borbon

Since I’m only 25, I figure my future is ahead of me. –Barry Foote, Phillies catcher

I never look toward the past. –Ron Blomberg, Yankees DH

They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids. –Tito Fuentes, Giants second baseman

It could permanently hurt a batter for a long time. –Pete Rose, on the brush back pitch

He really jumped on it. He hit that ball a lot further than it went. –Curt Young, A’s pitcher, on a home run by Rickey Henderson

You never know with these psychosomatic injuries. You have to take your time with them. –Jim Palmer, Orioles pitcher

We’re going to hang our heads high. –Harvey Kuenn, Brewers manager, after a loss to the Cardinals in the 1982 World Series

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t stick his head in it. –Paul Owens, Phillies manager

The only reason we’re 7-0 is because we won all seven of our games. –Dave Garcia, Indians manager

Good pitching will beat good hitting any time, and vice versa. –Bob Veale, Pirates pitcher

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? –Satchel Paige

Ninety percent of the game is half mental. –Jim Wohlford, Royals pitcher

My favorite word In English is “youneverknow.” –Joaquin Andujar, Astros pitcher

You can’t worry if it’s cold. You can’t worry if it’s hot. You can only worry if you get sick. Because if you don’t get well, you die. –Joaquin Andujar

The longer something illogical doesn’t happen, the more likely it is to happen eventually. –Tom House, Rangers pitching coach

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf. –Tug McGraw, Mets pitcher, when asked if he preferred grass or Astroturf

When I struggle at the plate, I ask the trainer for eye drops and I put them right on my bat so my bat can see the ball good. –Ozzie Guillen, White Sox shortstop

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean. –Pedro Guerrero, Dodgers infielder, on sportswriters

Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding. –Mickey Rivers

Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating. –Ron Fairly, Giants announcer

Right now, I have the three C’s: comfortable, confident, and seeing the ball well. –Jay Buhner, Mariners outfielder

Well, I see in the game in Minnesota that Terry Felton has relieved himself on the mound in the second inning. –Fred White, announcer

The Houston Astros are the youngest team in the National League if you judge by age. –Don Drysdale, as an announcer

That was a complicated play, fans. So we’re going to run that down again for you sports fans scoring in bed. –Bob Kelly, announcer

Jerry Dale is a great umpire. He’s got 20-20 ears. –Danny Ozark, Philies manager

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. –Charley Dressen, Giants manager

If Houston and Montreal stay on top, it will be the first time the National League playoffs will take place entirely outside the United States. –Hank Greenwald, announcer

As I remember it, the bases were loaded. –Garry Maddox, Phillies center fielder, on his first Major League grand slam

Winfield robbed Armas of at least a home run. –Bill White, announcer, during the 1981 American League Championship Series

It’s playable- if it stays in play. –Steve Zabriskie, announcer

He’s been a former outfielder most of his career. –Ross Porter, announcer

He was originally born in Chicago. –Curt Gowdy, announcer, on Dodgers first baseman Wes Parker

And at the game’s end, it’s National League 6, American League 4. The score again is American League 6, National League 4. –Curt Gowdy

It’s a beautiful day for a night game. –Frankie Frisch, announcer

The groan is audible. It can also be heard. –Harry Caray, announcer, during the 1968 World Series

Mike Marshall went back to L.A. to get cocaine for his foot. –Harry Caray (meaning to say “novocaine”)

Actually, my control wasn’t that bad. I was just missing with pitches. –Harry Parker, Mets pitcher, after walking nine batters in one game

The trouble with baseball is by the time you learn how to play it, you can’t play it anymore. –Frank Howard, Major Leaguer

There seemed to be an abundance of nimbus clouds in the area that seemed to make my knuckleball high. –John Martin, Louisville Redbirds pitcher

I lost it in the sun. –Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodger, on missing a ground ball

When we lose I can’t sleep at night. When we win I can’t sleep at night. But when you win you wake up feeling better. –Joe Torre

You can never have too much talent. Even the 1927 Yankees didn’t win every year. –Buzzie Bavasi, Angels GM

For me, stealing second is a lot easier after I’ve reached first. –Enzo Hernandez, Padres shortstop

I broke my slump when I found a delivery in my flaw. –Dan Quisenberry, Royals relief pitcher

September is panty-hose time. No nonsense. –Dave Parker, Reds outfielder

Our phenoms aren’t phenomenating. –Lefty Phillips, Angels manager

Pitching is simple – cheese for the kitchen and a yakker for the kudo. –Dennis Eckersley, A’s relief pitcher

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