The internet rumor mill is telling us that Gloria James is having an affair with Delonte West, LeBron’s friend and teammate. LeBron supposedly found out about this prior to the Cavs’ Game 4 against the Celtics. They went on to lose three games in a row, and the series. Coincidence? Well, probably. But let’s just say it’s not. It’s more fun that way.

Imagine LeBron leaves because he doesn’t think Cleveland has the pieces to win a title. Why does he think that? Because the Cavs went down in the second round, losing four of five games to the Celtics after winning Game 1. Why did the Cavs lose? Because LeBron’s focus shifted after the first few games when he learned Delonte West was sleeping with his mom. Therefore, by the transitive property, Delonte West is soon to become the most hated man in Cleveland.

Alright, now for a more realistic analysis. Let’s see… What could really make LeBron want to go elsewhere? Well, for one, his supporting cast let him down once again in the postseason. Antawn Jamison was terrible at the end of the Cavs-Celtics series. Mo Williams is all over the place. Shaquille O’Neal is useless. The Cavs didn’t have to win the title, but the fact that they went down much sooner than expected makes it seem like there’s a long way to go. As far as the appeal of the city itself, Joakim Noah said it best: “What’s so good about Cleveland?”

The city should probably be panicking right now. It must have been strange for Knicks fans rooting on the Celtics, but Boston did everything they could to help out New York. President Obama, meanwhile, has made it no secret that wants LeBron in a Bulls uniform. Ahh, July 1 cannot get here soon enough.